She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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