My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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