Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
