these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize