you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize