wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
