Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
