When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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