"it" just moved
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
