even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
