Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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