that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize