Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
