He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize