And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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