oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
