Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
