u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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