I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize