The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
