Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
