Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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