i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
