If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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