It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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