Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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