listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
