So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
being pregnant is like rehab
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize