mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
