...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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