With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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