how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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