sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
