Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
