It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So much rum. So many feels.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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