But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
