I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
