I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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