My room smells like vodka and shame
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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