If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize