Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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