life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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