Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
