sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
