The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
