Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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