I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
