im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
