and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize