I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
