I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
