Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize