It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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