So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
