Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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