i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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