Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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