Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
