I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
