just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just google imaged poop.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
