You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
