She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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