I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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