is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
