When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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