It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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